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Improving your listening skills takes concentrated effort but you will be rewarded by happier relationships and clarity within good communication.
 | | listening man |
Don't let your mind wander. When someone else is talking to you don't let your mind wander to explore other unrelated trains of thought. Focus on what someone is saying to you. The best way to do this is to be prepared to repeat back in paraphrase what someone is trying to communicate to you in order to clarify. Not only does this communicate to the other person that you were listening, if you know you will have to repeat something back you will keep better focus.
Eliminate the possibility of interruptions. A speaker does not feel listened to if you answer your phone, speak to another person, glance around, or start talking about something else. For this reason you should turn off your cell phones, or at least not answer a call while in a conversation. If you are going to have a conversation remove yourselves and go somewhere quiet where pets and people will not interrupt you.
Maintain eye contact. When listening to someone speak look directly at their eyes and engage in what they are saying. Put other places you would rather be or things you have to do out of your mind as you listen. Nothing speaks disinterest more than glancing away as if you have somewhere better to be.
Wait to formulate a response until after someone is done talking. Be silent and patiently listen to everything your conversation partner is telling you. After they have finished speaking, you may then begin to formulate a response. Too often we miss what someone is trying to communicate to us because we are busy thinking of what we want to say next. First paraphrasing back to someone what they said helps you to formulate a response and shows the other person that you were listening.
Try to look at a situation from someone else's point of view. The key to listening is not to judge but to seek to understand. Good listening is when you seek to understanding the context behind what someone is telling you. The best way to do this is to imagine yourself in their shoes. Be completely selfless while you listen and hear from the speaker's perspective. Do not consider yourself smarter than the speaker or that you would have acted differently. Assume that you would have done the same thing if you were in their situation and felt the way they do.
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