What is Etiquette for Wedding Invitations

Modern day is fairly lenient when it comes to etiquette for wedding invitations. Yet you still want to make sure to invite guests to your Big Day with style and tact.

Feel free to use your creativity in your wedding invitations. You can include song lyrics, a poem, or your own script in your invitations. Just remember that you must always include these important details:

• Your full name and the full name of your fiancé.
• The location, date and time of the wedding ceremony.
•  The location and time of the reception.
• Information on how to RSVP.

Send out your wedding invitations at the proper time. Generally speaking you should send your invitations out 4 to 6 weeks before your wedding day.  If you would like guests to be aware of the date of the wedding before this, which is a good idea especially if you have guests from out of town, you should send out a save-the-date card as soon as you know when the wedding will take place.  If your guests will be traveling far you should include travel and accommodation information on the save-the-date card.

Pleasing the folks when it comes to your wedding invitations. Family relationships can be complicated, and you don't want to offend anyone on your wedding invitation.

• If parents are divorced...The parents names are at the top of the invitation (generally with the bride's parents listed first), but the mother's name is listed on the first line and the father's name is listed on a second. Do not use the word "and" to separate the lines. If the mother has not remarried, you still use the salutation "Mrs." before her name. For example:

Mrs. Julie Bugari

Mr. Pete Simmons

And

Mr. and Mrs. Bob Hope

Request the honor of your presence...

• If parents are divorced and remarried… Traditionally only the parents of the bride and groom appear on the invitation, but if you would like to include step parents, simply include them on the corresponding lines. For example:

Mr. and Mrs. Pete Simmons

Mr. and Mrs. Greg Fudge

Request the honor of your presence…

• If one or both of the bride or groom's parents are deceased... If one parent is alive, only their name should appear on the invitation. If both parents are deceased you may either use your grandparent's names or simply put the bride and groom's names as follows:

Miss Fey Grace Simmons

And

Mr. Joseph Su

Request the honor of your presence

At their marriage

Exclude people (especially children) from the ceremony with tact. Traditionally if someone's name is not on the invitation, including children's names, then they are not invited to the wedding.  Some people are not aware of this rule however, and the best way to make sure that kids do not show up with parents to the ceremony is to simply call them and explain the situation.  You don't have to put "plus 1 guest" if you don't want to - however guests do traditionally expect to be able to bring a date to weddings.  It is not tactful to put "no children, please" anywhere on the invitation, or to specifically list certain people that are not able to attend.

Never include reference to gifts on an invitation. No matter how charitable your reason for wanting to list where guests should direct their gifts, don't do it. If is rude to presume on a formal invitation that you are expecting gifts.  If you have a wedding website, put details about gift registries there.  You can also ask your wedding party to help you get the word out to other guests.

The Wording of a Traditional, Formal Invitation

For those of you who want traditional, formal invitation wording I've included it below. Remember that you are not limited to this format if you do want to go the formal wedding invitation route (which only lists the Bride's parents' names). You can add the names of the groom's parents, only list the groom's parents, list grandparents, list you and your fiancé as the host of the wedding, simply mention your family names (The Smiths, together with the Johnsons, invite you to celebrate the marriage of their children…), or whatever else you feel may be appropriate.

Mr. and Mrs. Pete Simmons

Request the honor of your presence

At the marriage of their daughter.

Fey Grace Simmons

To

Mr. Joseph Su

Saturday, the seventh of August, Two Thousand Ten

At seven o'clock

Grace Baptist Church

1234 Candy Lane, Ohio