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It is a tragic and uncertain time when death strikes a loved one, and knowing what to do when someone dies and how to go about planning a funeral can seem overwhelming in the midst of grief. The following tips will guide you on making funeral arrangements.
Make the first calls.
Contact a local funeral director to arrange transport of the deceased to the funeral home. This is called the First Call. You should also call an attending physician, coroner or medical examiner to officially call the time of death, unless your loved one has passed in front of a medical professional. If the death was due to unknown circumstances you should also call local law enforcement to come and investigate what happened. Then you should call family members and legal representatives and notify them of the deceased's passing.
Decide on Funeral Arrangements
You will need to make decisions regarding the disposition of the body, funeral products and the memorial service. Funeral directors at the funeral home can help you make the necessary arrangements. Check with fellow mourners and loved ones for specific requests and last wishes regarding burial before you begin planning a funeral.
- Interment- Decide if you would like to burry, entomb or cremate the remains. You should also decide if you want the remains to be embalmed or not.
- Final Resting Place-Decide where the casket or cremated remains will be buried, entombed, scattered or kept by the family. If you choose to bury your dead in a cemetery there are many different types of grave spaces to chose from including earth burial and mausoleum crypts for entombment. The cemetery will open and close the grave and can help to provide you with grave markers. Make sure to check if there are any fees for maintenance of the cemetery grounds. Many people will purchase a cemetery plot in advance, or have a family plot, to relieve you of this responsibility so check to make sure none exist before purchasing a new plot.
- Casket - You will need to select a casket for the body to be placed in. There are various sizes and styles targeted for different budgets. You can chose a casket made out of metal, wood, and even fiberglass.
- Burial vault- A container that goes around the casket, a burial vault, is required by most cemeteries. Burial vaults help support the soil above the grave. Many people simply use a concrete box, but you can choose to use a more sophisticated type of enclosure lined with plastic or metal if you wish.
- Urn- You can select a beautiful urn to hold cremated ashes of your loved one. You can choose an urn of marble, wood, bronze or steel. You can personalize urns with engravings, medallions and emblems as well.
- Grave stones- Placed at the head of a grave, grave stones mark the burial spot of the deceased. They can be made of granite, marble, steel or bronze. Grave memorials lie flat on the ground and grave monuments are the grave stones that sit upright. Make sure to check with the cemetery's regulations regarding grave stone type and placement before purchasing one.
The Wake
Will the casket be present at the memorial service, or will you have a separate wake? A wake is when people can view the body of the deceased and have a time to say goodbye. Funeral homes offer wakes. It is up to you to have either a private or public wake.
The number of hours or days separating the wake and memorial service is entirely up to you. In my experience people attend the wake before the memorial service at a separate event. If you do want the casket at the memorial service, decide if the casket will be open or closed.
Memorial Service
The memorial service is a time to celebrate who the deceased was and remember their life. Determine a time and location for the memorial service and where the ceremony will be held - at a funeral home, place of worship or the graveside. You can chose a service leader and speaker, often this person is a family member, friend or religious leader. You can also have the funeral home provide you with someone. Determine what type of music, flowers, and pictures you will use during the service to remember your loved one.
Obituary
Call your local newspaper and inform them of the death of the deceased. Ask them to publish the date and time of the memorial service and the wake if you chose to have a public wake. You should also be prepared to give a few details on your loved one’s life and cause of death.
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